More Realistic New Year’s Resolutions for Parents

The New Year has a way of whispering (or shouting) that we should suddenly become new, improved versions of ourselves. For parents, especially parents of children with autism or supporting kids in therapy, that pressure can feel even heavier. You may be learning new parenting skills, navigating a new diagnosis, or trying to “do it all” at once.

So here’s your gentle reminder: resolutions don’t need to be big or bold!

Small, sustainable habits often support your child and your own well-being the most. Just as we break down goals for our kids into tiny steps and celebrate the small wins, we can treat our own goals the same way. Here are some gentle, realistic resolutions to consider:

Resolution #1: Practice Patience — Slowing Down With Your Child

You might feel like your child takes “forever” to do things, and that’s because they’re supposed to! Putting on shoes, zipping a jacket, brushing teeth, it’s all part of mastering independence and exploring their world. Humans are the only species with a childhood of at least 18 years. Baby animals learn fast because they have to survive; our children learn slowly because they’re building skills, confidence, and self-identity over years.

Having said that, children with motor, speech, or developmental delays often need extra time and repetition to learn new skills. For parents, this means slowing down, allowing more practice, and staying calm.

Simple ways to practice patience:

Build in extra time. Give them the time to try things themselves, even if the process feels painfully slow.
Narrate steps. “First we unzip, then we put one arm in…” Narration helps with language and sequencing skills.
Celebrate effort, not speed. “You worked so hard on that zipper!” supports your child’s effort, not the end result.

Remind Yourself Why it’s Taking so Long

When frustration starts to creep in, it can help to pause and remember why your child might be struggling. If putting on a coat takes forever, it may be because their fingers are still building fine motor strength, they’re working hard to coordinate grabbing the zipper and pulling it up, or they’re trying to remember the steps in the right order. Understanding the “why” behind the delay can make it easier to respond with patience and support.

If an activity of daily living seems difficult for your child, bring it up with their Occupational Therapist (OT). OTs specialize in helping kids build the motor skills, coordination, sensory processing, and step-by-step routines they need for everyday tasks like dressing, feeding, brushing teeth, and handwriting.

Resolution #2: Try New Things — Encouraging Exploration Without Pressure

Trying new foods, activities, or routines can feel overwhelming for those with sensory sensitivities, picky eating tendencies, or those already pushing outside their comfort zones in therapy sessions. Your child may be working hard even when it doesn’t look like it.

That’s why trying new things can be a wonderful resolution when framed gently and realistically.

Practical tools that support exploration while eating:

The “Let’s just put it on your plate – you don’t have to eat it” strategy. Being comfortable with exposure to new foods (looking at, touching, smelling) is a stepping stone to eating those foods.
Use play and modeling. Pretend to taste a new food with a stuffie, explore ingredients with your hands, or try simple food preparation together.
Praise attempts. “I love how you touched the noodle!” is often just right. Focus on trying new foods, not the end result – it builds confidence without added pressure.

Resolution #3: Get In Tune With Emotions — Normalizing Tantrums and Big Feelings

Tantrums, meltdowns, shutdowns, dysregulation…they happen. A lot. Especially as kids learn to recognize, name, and regulate their emotions. Factors like sensory needs, communication delays, and daily stressors can make the emotional world feel even bigger.

Have you ever noticed that when you feel dysregulated and reactive, it makes your child’s tantrum even worse? Co-regulation, your calm helping them find theirs, is one of the most powerful therapeutic tools there is.

Co-regulation doesn’t mean hiding your emotions or acting robotic to keep your child calm. Instead, you can name your feelings and then show how to manage them in healthy ways. You can tell your child that you’re going into the other room for a few minutes to calm down because you’re feeling frustrated, or that you’re going to take some deep breaths.

Ways to support emotional development:

Narrate your own emotions and coping strategies. You’re modeling what regulation looks like. For example: “Mommy feels frustrated right now because my coat is hot, but I know I’ll feel comfortable once we’re outside.”
Use simple language. “You’re feeling frustrated. I’m here.” This phrase helps your child feel seen and supported. You’re naming their feeling and letting them know they’re not alone.
Offer comfort, space, and predictability. Familiar rhythms help kids return to center. “Would you like a hug or some quiet time? I’ll stay close. When you’re ready, we can read your bedtime story like we always do.”
Ride it out. Parents often feel pressure to make their child “feel better” in the middle of a tantrum, but sometimes the quickest way through is to let your child experience their feelings instead of trying to fix them.

Emotional growth takes time. You don’t need perfect responses, you just need to show up with empathy and consistency.

Resolution #4: Read More Together

Reading is one of the simplest, most realistic goals for busy families. A few minutes with a book supports language development, strengthens connection, and helps kids explore emotions in a safe, predictable way.

Easy ways to build more reading into your days:

Create a bedtime story ritual. Even one short book counts.
Keep picture books on hand for quick moments. Breakfast table, car rides, waiting rooms.
Choose stories that teach. Books about bravery, patience, coping skills, or emotions can spark meaningful conversations.

Book ideas to promote emotional development:

Emotions at the Party by Fadia Hadj Slimane
The Feelings Book by Todd Parr
When Sophie Gets Angry–Really, Really Angry by Molly Bang
I’m Having a Bad Day by Amaan Ishaq
The Color Monster: A Story About Emotions by Anna Llenas
Grumpy Monkey by Suzanne Lang
A Little SPOT of Emotion (box set) by Diane Alber

Resolution #5: Give Yourself Grace — The Most Important One

Raising a child requires patience, resilience, creativity, and immense emotional energy. The last thing you need is a resolution that drains you more. This year, choose goals that feel good, not stressful.

Focus on your well-being, too. When parents are supported, the whole family feels it. Rest, mental health, and boundaries are not luxuries, they’re the recipe for a regulated home.

If you need support in your parenting journey, Westside offers Individual Counseling for Caregivers. This service provides parents with a safe place to talk with a qualified therapist who truly understands your experiences and can guide you through the challenges.

A Year of Growth, Not Pressure

As you head into the New Year, remember that you and your child are learning and growing together. Therapy is a journey, and so is parenting. Resolutions can be a journey, too. They don’t need to be big or grand; often, the smallest changes make the biggest difference.

From our Westside family to yours, here’s to a gentle, grace-filled New Year!