The holidays are just around the corner, which usually means big family gatherings, Thanksgiving dinners, and the challenge of getting your picky eater to try anything beyond their favorite go-to foods!
While most kids go through a picky eating phase at some point, for others, especially those with developmental differences or sensory sensitivities, it can be a long-lasting challenge. Kids with special needs, including those on the autism spectrum, often experience heightened food aversions due to texture, smell, or even the sight of certain foods.
Here are some tips and general information from our Westside therapists to help make the holiday table a more enjoyable experience for everyone.
Picky Eating and Sensory Sensitivities
Many children go through a picky eating phase, typically between the ages of 2 and 6. This is considered a normal part of development. During this time, kids may refuse certain foods, prefer only a few favorites, or be hesitant to try new things. This type of picky eating usually resolves on its own as the child gets older and gains more exposure to different foods.
However, picky eating becomes problematic when it becomes extreme or significantly impacts a child’s nutrition and growth. This is often the case for kids with sensory sensitivities, where textures, smells, or colors may be overwhelming or unpleasant. These children tend to have a strong aversion to many different types of food, and their rigid preferences can make mealtimes extremely challenging and stressful. When you add in the pressure and expectations of a holiday meal with relatives, the situation can become even more overwhelming.
Preparing for Holiday Meals With Your Picky Eater
Whether your child is an occasional picky eater or has severe feeding difficulties, there are some steps you can take to help make the holidays, and the expectations around food and your child’s eating, less stressful. Here are some ideas:
- Bring Safe Foods
Always make sure that your child has a preferred food available. If you are heading out to a relative’s or friend’s house, pack a bag of crackers, chicken nuggets, plain pasta, or whatever you know your kiddo will eat. These can be added to their plate to help them feel comfortable, or offered as a standalone meal. You can also suggest ways to incorporate their preferred foods into the holiday spread, such as offering plain mashed potatoes or simple veggies that align with their usual preferences.
- Pack Their Favorite Plate or Utensils
Does your child have a favorite plate or fork they can’t eat without? If so, bring it along if you’re heading out! Familiar items can make mealtime much smoother, especially for kids who are picky or resistant to trying new foods.
There are also some fun, creative options designed specifically for little ones who might need extra motivation at the table. A quick Google search for “kids picky eating plates” will reveal tons of clever plates with sections that guide them through their meal like a little adventure. You can even make it more fun by placing a small treat (like an M&M or Goldfish cracker) in the first section to help get them excited to dig in!
- Use Sensory Tools
If your child finds comfort in fidget toys, noise-canceling headphones, or other sensory tools at home, don’t forget to include them at the holiday meal. These tools can make a big difference in helping your child stay calm and regulated during what can be a busy and overwhelming time. Fidget toys, for example, can keep their hands busy while they eat, which may help them stay engaged at the table for longer.
- Communicate with Family About Your Child’s Needs
It’s helpful to talk to your family before the holiday gathering to explain your child’s unique needs and food sensitivities. This can prevent misunderstandings at the dinner table and set the expectation that your child might not eat the same foods as everyone else. Let family members know that pressuring your child to try new foods only causes stress, and that it’s more helpful to create a relaxed environment.
It’s also important to remember that relatives of older generations may have less of an understanding of the different developmental differences that can bring on eating challenges. As children, they may have been expected to “finish their plate”, and they might carry those expectations into how they view mealtime with children today.
We all have them – those well-meaning but uninformed family members who make comments or express concern about your child’s picky eating, or about your parenting choices in general.
(Long sigh…)
You have a few options here, depending on how direct you’d like to be, but setting boundaries is always important.
You might say, “My child has specific sensitivities around food, and for today we’re going to stick to what they’re comfortable with.” This approach not only informs your family but also sets boundaries regarding your child’s eating habits. After this, we recommend a quick change in topic!
Try redirecting conversations to focus on the joys of the holiday gathering rather than the food. You can talk about favorite holiday traditions, activities, or shared memories that everyone can engage in. By steering the focus away from food, you can create a more welcoming environment for your child and everyone at the table. Reminding family members that the holidays are about togetherness and connection can help shift their perspective, allowing them to appreciate the gathering as a whole rather than zeroing in on one child’s eating habits.
- Gradual Exposure to New Foods
If you’d like to introduce new foods, start practicing before the big holiday meal. Offer small, manageable amounts of new textures or flavors in a low-pressure setting at home. Gradual exposure over time can help reduce anxiety and build a sense of familiarity with unfamiliar foods. This will also help you know if your child will have a big reaction to specific holiday foods, making it easier to know which ones to avoid.
Additional Tips for a Smooth Holiday
- Bring Snacks and Activities: Pack some of your child’s favorite snacks and engaging activities to keep them occupied during downtime, helping to manage overstimulation.
- Maintain Familiar Routines: Try to keep mealtime routines as consistent as possible, even with the holiday distractions. This can provide comfort and stability for your child.
- Use Social Stories and Visual Schedules: Utilize social stories and visual schedules to help your child understand what to expect during the gathering.
- Offer Breaks and Quiet Spaces: Designate areas for breaks and quiet spaces where your child can retreat to manage overstimulation.
- Pack a Backup Meal: Prepare a backup meal that includes your child’s favorite foods, ensuring they have something familiar and safe to eat if the holiday spread feels overwhelming.
- Set Boundaries: Don’t hesitate to say no to certain activities or leave early if your child is feeling overwhelmed. Prioritizing their comfort and well-being is more important than family expectations.
The Role of Feeding Therapy
Feeding therapy is a specialized therapy designed to help children who have difficulty eating, or who exhibit problematic eating behaviors like a very limited diet. This therapy is led by occupational therapists (OTs) or speech-language pathologists (SLPs), who are trained to address a range of feeding and swallowing issues. These include physical difficulties with chewing, swallowing, or coordinating oral motor skills.
During feeding therapy, therapists use techniques to help children gradually expand the variety of foods they eat, improve their relationship with food, and address any underlying sensory or motor issues. At Westside, feeding therapy is 1:1 with the therapist and tailored to the child’s specific needs.
As a general rule of thumb, a child may be a good candidate for Feeding Therapy if:
- They eat less than 30 different foods.
- They have extreme reactions or challenges when new or non-preferred food is presented.
- Eating and mealtimes have become an extreme stressor to the family.
If your child meets these criteria, and mealtimes have become a major stressor, Westside is here to help. Our dedicated team is here to support you and your child in overcoming feeding difficulties and fostering a positive relationship with food.
Please call (815) 469-1500 and our team will walk you through the process.
